The Minnesota State Patrol had a clever television ad that
showed drivers giving excuses why they were speeding. Law enforcement officers have told me that
these are not made up – they have heard most, if not all, of the excuses shown
in the commercial!
I recall being in a different courthouse for a criminal
calendar and seeing another judge’s notes on the blotter on the bench. He had listed excuses (“The car wouldn’t
start.” “My ride backed out at the last
minute.” “I have the flu.” Etc.) with checkmarks behind each excuse
indicating how many times he’d heard it.
One of my colleagues recently noted that a sure way to solve
the unemployment problem was to get arrested and appear before the judge,
because he (and all of us!) routinely hear that the defendant needs to get out
of jail because he is supposed to start a new job today (or tomorrow).
Another of my colleagues came up with the top ten reasons a
person who was recently arrested should get out of jail. Like the excuses shown in the State Patrol
ad, these are not made up – I, and I suspect every judge in Minnesota, have
heard each one several times.
1.
I was supposed to start a new job this morning
2.
The neighbor is watching my children
3.
My grandmother is dying (or just died)
4.
I am not getting proper medical care for (pick any
communicable disease)
5.
They had my address wrong
6.
If you let me out to get to an ATM machine I can pay
the bail
7.
I have never missed a court appearance
8.
My animals need to be fed
9.
I am getting evicted and I need to get my stuff out of
my apartment
10. Did
I tell you about that new job?
I must say that routinely I and other judges hear legitimate
and well-reasoned grounds to consider releasing defendants who appear before
me. We all must base our decisions,
whether it be setting bail and release conditions or any of the myriad of other
decisions that are presented to us on a daily basis, on the facts as we know
them in the particular case and the law that governs that specific decision.
That doesn’t prevent us, however, from a chuckle now and
again when it is obvious we are trying to be sold a bill of goods.
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