Some of the most emotional cases in the courtroom happen
when parents give up their rights to parent their children. This can happen in different situations: A teenage mother, for instance, realizes she
can’t raise the child and places it for adoptions.
Most of the hard cases, however, come at the end of a child
protection proceeding.
Sometimes, when I expected tears and a very emotional
hearing, I am (unpleasantly) surprised.
In one case, Mother agreed to terminate her parental rights, as she was
in prison. The law requires that a
parent sign the voluntary termination of parental rights document in the
presence of a judge. As I was going
through Shakopee that week, I offered to stop by the Women’s Correctional
Facility there to witness her signature.
I arrived at the prison, went through the metal detector and
emptied my pockets and briefcase for inspection. I was escorted into a small conference room
just the other side of the solid steel door that clanked and locked behind
me. Mother soon came into the room.
I started to say something about what a hard and difficult
decision this was, when the mother interrupted me. Could we please get this over with? She didn’t want to be late for supper.
I guess not every woman has those strong maternal
instincts.
On the other hand, I recall a case where the parents were
addicted to methamphetamine. That is a
terrible affliction and quite difficult to overcome. After unsuccessful attempts at treatment – and
another arrest for possession of the drug – the parents realized that it was in
their child’s best interest to be raised by someone else. One of the grandparents stepped forward and
offered to care for the child. The
parents agreed to give sole legal and physical custody of the child to
Grandma. (In that case, the parents’
rights were not terminated.)
There were lots of tears at the hearing, and the parents
acknowledged that they let their child down.
At the end of the hearing, because the parents’ rights were not terminated
and Grandma would be raising the child, I was able to tell the parents that one
chapter in the story had closed, but the book was not finished. They still had the opportunity to sober up
and proved themselves. While they likely
would never parent the child, they could be a part of their child’s life.
It was up to them.
Actually, it’s always up to them. Judges don’t terminate parental rights – the
parents do. Judges only sign the
paperwork that makes it official.
